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| (courtesy of tinyprints) |
After much anticipation, a woman emerged from two sliding doors pushing a blue stroller. I immediately recognized the precious baby sitting inside. I had spent countless hours studying every inch of that beautiful face for that past five months, and now she was here.
I had imagined this very day for years, daydreaming about it constantly. In my "best case scenario" daydreams, I would be greeted by a happy little girl, eager to meet and embrace her new family. But in reality, I was greeted by a frightened and confused ten month old who had just been removed from everything and everyone she knew, and was now expected to fall into the arms of a complete stranger. Understandably so, what I saw in her face was fear, confusion and sadness --- and it broke my heart.
I vividly remember her tiny hands grasping onto the bar of the stroller, not wanting to be picked up. I remember struggling to get her out, and to this day, my eyes well up when I think about how frightened she must have been. It was without a doubt, one of the most amazing days of my life, but it was also heart wrenching.
When I think about all Bethany has had to go through, and the sacrifices made by her birth parents and foster families, my heart is filled with conflicting emotions. Sorrow and guilt at the losses experienced by so many for Bethany to become a part of our family; and immense joy and gratitude for this precious and amazing gift we have received. As an adoptive parent, I have gained so much, but there's no denying that it was through others' significant losses, that my gain was possible.
Today, I look back and thank God for every single person who had a hand in bringing her home. Thanking her birth family and her two foster families are a given, but I also wanted to thank the adoption agencies both in Korea and here in the U.S., the adoption community, our dear friends and family who prayed for us, encouraged us, and supported us all along the way, and all the government agencies who played a part in bringing Bethany home.
As difficult as some parts of our adoption journey were, it pales in comparison to the joy and love that has now filled our home for the past two years. Gone is the frightened and confused ten month old, and in her place is a loveable, affectionate, independent, adventurous, and spirited little girl who is growing up much too fast. Not too long ago, I wrote a short post about her, and not much has changed. She's still full of that "sugar and spice", and we wouldn't change a thing. :)
It's hard to believe Bethany will be turning three in a matter of months. The last time we checked, she was at the 5th percentile for weight, and 13th percentile for height. I'll be curious to see what her new percentiles are when we go for her three year check up in April. Bethany has had a growth spurt recently, and even her tiny feet have managed grow into a size 6! :) Her speech and language development are still a bit delayed, but she has shown a lot of progress, allowing us to decrease her speech therapy sessions to once a week. We are currently in the process of getting her assessed to see if she will need to continue once she turns three. Fortunately, in all other developmental areas, Bethany either meets or exceeds the targeted outcome, so we are not too concerned. We know in time, our little girl will be talking our ears off, just like her big brother. :)
As we celebrate two years together, I am overwhelmed by my love for her, and thank God for the miracle and beauty that is adoption. Our family has been given a tremendous gift, and to quote my nine year old son, "I don't feel like she was adopted. I feel like she was born into our family." Amen!
In the future my sweet girl will have questions about her adoption. Though we may not have all the answers she's looking for, I pray Sam and I will be able to respond with patience, wisdom and compassion. I pray she will know just how much we love and cherish her, and that we will always be there for her. I know there might be times when even those truths may not be enough to shield her from the pain and sorrow that is inevitably part of her story, but I pray that when and if that time comes, my dear Bethany will know God, and that He will be the ultimate source of her peace and joy.
I love you so much Bethany, and I thank God everyday for choosing me to be your Mommy. You are my beautiful baby girl, an answer to prayer, a precious gift from above.
Now I'll leave you with some video clips and a year's worth of pictures from Bethany's second year home.
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4 comments (post a comment):
So sweet, Jenny! Bethany is blessed to have you as her mother!!
Okay, now you've made me tear up twice- first with that article you recently posted on fb and now this. Darn you, Jenny!!
But that being said, it was tears of joy both times. I'm overwhelmed and so encouraged when I see what God has done and is doing in your family!
SIGH!!! That was beautiful. Amen Jenny...
Oh Jenny--I see a wonderfully sweet gal who has come so far and is such a joy to be around. I know God's grace is a big part of that but I also know that you and Sam and Austin have been a family that has helped her grow into who she is today. So thankful that we get to be a part of her life and yours!
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